10 things I will miss when I leave India

Most foreigners like me who live in India love to hate India for one reason or another, but don't mistake the occasional ranting and raving for actual hatred. There are things we like, nee love, about India too.  It's just very easy to forget them.

So, I'd like to capture some of these things here.  I will take me a while to get through the entire list of 10 (in fact I haven't made the list yet) but let's start with this one.

The Andhra Meals

Palak dal, bhindi fry, pickle and rice.
(Courtesy kkalyan on Flickr)

I love a good Andhra style "meals" or "thali".  I haven't found an equivalent to this type of meal in any other society around the world, and if you haven't been to south India you probably don't know what I'm talking about. 

For a fairly small amount of money (20-120 rupees), you get a big plate (that's the thali) with a great variety of dishes in small bowls, and a pile of rice in the middle, and a couple of roti's or papadam on top. There is almost always yogurt (curd), some curries, a couple vegetable dishes, a salad (cucumber/carrot), and a sweet. At the lower end of the cost scale, you might just get rice, dal, and a veg.  In a south Indian version, you'd get more sloppy curries, and maybe some curd rice.  In a Northern one, dryer dishes, some bread, and a typical norther sweet.


A very nice looking Thali, from Jaisalmeer in North India.
(Courtesy of Larsa on Flickr)

The amazing thing is that it's all-you-can-eat. They will keep bringing any of the curries, vegetables, and rice in unlimited quantities until you are lying on the floor screaming "no more" "not another wafer thin mint".

One of the things I really enjoy about the cheap-n-tasty thali is the Indian practice of eating with your hand, without a spoon/knife/fork.  There is something really sensuous (almost in a dirty way) about smashing your curry, dal and vegetables into the rice, making a ball out of it and then shoving it into your mouth. 

For lots more photos, try a Compfight search for thali. 

And in the Bangalore area, "meals" is always plural.  You don't ask for a "meal" but a "meals".

Sewer cycle

Bangalore's sewers, when they exist, are for the most part "open".  See this for an example photo if you don't know what one looks like.  They are channels about a 80cm across and a meter deep that run in front of most buildings along the streets. 

If they are covered, they are covered with removable stones or concrete blocks. These then form the basis for what should be sidewalks, but in practice they are insufficient as such. As sidewalks, they are too uneven, too narrow, and since they are frequently missing stones, you must watch very carefully where you step lest you fall into the sewer.  Sidenote: that's why everyone in India walks in the street and a major reason why 4-lane roads (where they exist) usually have at most 2 passable lanes of traffic going less than 30kmph, but that's for another rant...



Someone enjoying the Open Sewer in Badami. Photo courtesy of Olivié

So why have these rough, uneven stones? Why not just cover the sewers entirely with smooth concrete?

First, let's recognize that Bangalore, a town of 6-8 million people depending on who you ask, has no organized solid waste disposal system to speak of.  Second, Bangaloreans by and large have no concept of using a garbage receptacle of any sort.  There are few if any public trash bins, and usually there isn't one within 100 yards of you anyway, so if you did have some trash and you didn't want to throw it on the ground, you'd have to pocket it until you found a canister.  The result: nearly everyone just throws their garbage on the ground.  And then it flies or falls into the sewer.

And if you live on a road with one of the aforementioned sewers, you can speed up this process and just throw your trash directly in the sewer.  Take a close look at all the non-biodegradeable stuff floating in that photo just there.

So this means that about once every 2 years, some unfortunate group of people are employed to clean out the sewers.  Lest you think this involves some high-pressure washing machinery and garbage trucks, recall where we are: India.  This means that people do it.  Why not use machinery?  People don't have to be imported from Germany and they don't break down.  They don't even require maintenance.  You just say "I need 100 workers at 100 rupees a day" and poof, they appear.  If 20 get sick and don't show up on day two, 20 more will appear looking for work.


These unlucky souls stand in the sewers (a couple inches deep with flowing waste in some cases) and dig out the solids, putting them in a big pile on the side of the road. This cleaning is done with their bare hands too, since apparently
shovels and other bronze-age implements are too expensive for this
work. Did I mention that most of these workers have no shoes?  That's right, they are standing barefoot in a river of poop, piss and chemical waste, then digging it out with their hands. 

A big sloppy, stinky pile of waste then appears on the side of the road in front of the restaurants, milk salesmen, butchers, even the florists.  It sits there for a month or so, drying out and blowing around until some other unlucky bunch of people comes along with a truck to haul it all "away".  I have no idea where this mythical "away" place is, but I'm suspecting it is the fields where my vegetables are grown.

And then the entire cycle starts all over again as people continue to throw their garbage in the sewers. As I was going to work this morning, I stopped at a stoplight in front of a small business.  The child working there was sweeping up all the plastic tea-cups, cigarette wrappers, and other trash.  When he finished making a nice pile, he picked it up and threw it into the brand new open sewer in front of his shop.

This is all just another mind-boggling inefficiency of India that I just don't understand.  Another side to "India Shining".

Afternote:
Light on the horizon: Chennai has banned the practice of manually cleaning sewers.  We all know the gap between law and practice in India, but still it's a good first step.

Hyderabadi Biryani -- The hunt begins.

I've set myself a goal of learning to make a good Hyderabadi biryani before I leave India.

Best I can tell this is the general process:

1. Marinate some meat and cook it a bit (cook it maybe half-way).
2. Soak some rice and maybe cook it a bit (half-way).
3. Layer the rice and meats in a big pot.
4. Add some additional spices and some ghee.
5. Cover tightly and cook for an additional 30mins until the rice and meats are both done.

This general recipe is deceptively simple I would say, which mean that the devil is in the details.  My time in India has shown me some good and lots of mediocre-to-bad biryani.

I do not intend to learn to make mediocre biryani.  ;-)

Some things I know already:
I will make chicken and mutton styles. Probably chicken more often than mutton.
Boneless mutton. Dark chicken meat. 
I will not bother with vegetarian biryani. 
I will use fresh whole spices, no mixes. (I'm throwing out all my old spices today.)
Saffron will be used, not colorings.
I will not use prepared garlic-ginger paste. That stuff is just nasty.
I will not worry about how much ghee goes in.  If I wanted to watch my calories, I wouldn't be making biryani.
I like it spicy. Most Indian food is not spicy enough for me but Andhra food (i.e. from Hyderabad) is.
I'm sensitive to over-salted food, so I'll probably be cutting back a bit on that part of most recipes.
Getting the rice properly cooked half-way before assembly will be a key to success.  Overcooking it will result in the mush that I've been served too many times in corporate canteens and cheaper restaurants.  Here's what Petrina Verma Sarkar says about this step:

"Cook till almost done. To determine when it has reached that stage, remove a few grains from the pot and press between your thumb and forefinger. The rice should mostly mash but will have a firm whitish core."

Manila Williams says:

You have to par cook the rice (meaning 3/4 cooked and rest will get cooked later). Do not over boil the rice. To check if the rice is done you can take a grain of rice out and press in between your thumb and forefinger. If the grain breaks into 3 parts, it means your rice is cooked just right.

Here's a promising recipe because it appears to be translated from another language (Telugu hopefully), and has typical Indian names for most items. I may give this one a try.  You have to like something that uses 3 t. chili powder for only 1/2 kg of meat.  Something is not right with the temperatures though.  Maybe mixing up Fahrenheit and Celsius?

Here is one I probably won't be trying.  1/2 t of chili powder? "Saffron Color".  Uhm, no thanks.

Recently there was an otherwise insipid article locally in which Sanjay Bahl of Royal Orchid Hotels made a telling comment: "Use a mix of cream, butter and saffron and pour it over the rice and cover it with a thin layer of par boiled rice after which you cover it with a lid and place it on dum."  I have yet to find a recipe that calls for cream or butter. In my experience, the fancy restaurants and hotels in India use WAY too much cream.  It's loaded into every curry dish to make it thicker and richer. Here I suspect the same thing is happening with biryani.  I can't imagine someone actually using cream and butter to make a biryani at home.  Am I wrong?  I suspect he's taking the saffron milk and using cream instead. 

This looks like a very good process in this video from Pakistan with Sanjeev Kapoor on TV1 showing the assembly and some of the details of the dum (vessel) loading.  He makes a seasoning potli (like a french bouquet garni) for the boiling of the rice.  He shows just how to layer in the meats and rice, and he uses a lot of yogurt (curd) to marinate the meat, which probably also makes the rice much richer in the end as it cooks off. This looks a lot like what I thought would be in the right recipe. Might start with this one as a basis.

Another video showing a mutton version, with tomatoes added to the meat while it cooks. Also he uses a 1:1 water:rice ratio to "partially cook" the rice in a rice cooker. The assembly here lacks a little in the "atmosphere" department, but it looks like they're having a huge party.

And on a lighter note: A rap about Hyderabadi Biryani. Awesome stuff that one...

Rumboozle and Nimbarita -- you saw them here first folks..

A new drink, created first here in Bangalore by yours truly.  A favorite in our house these days:

Rumboozle
1 part Rum (or 30cl if you're a Bangalorean bartender and must measure every drink)
3 parts Nimbooz
Juice of one lime
Served on ice in a whiskey glass

Extra points possible for sugar or salt on the rim, but it's absolutely not necessary.

Also known to be served in these parts:

Nimbarita
1 healthy shot of (good) Tequila
3 parts Nimbooz
Juice of one lime
salt on the rim
served on ice


Cheers to all.

Indian Driving Manual, part 109, subpart 7

Here is an excerpt from the 1982 Indian driver's instruction manual that my driver used:

Turning Right:

When turning right (Editor's note: across traffic in India, remember?), here is the appropriate chain of events:

Slow down, flash your lights at the oncoming traffic.  This serves to alert them to your intentions of fouling up their progress.  It's appropriate to keep them on their toes.

Swerve left ever so briefly then back to the right. This helps keep the traffic behind you in a state of doubt. 

Under no circumstances do you use your indicators. Signaling your intention is a sign of weakness.

Begin to straddle the center line at least 30 meters before the intersection, as if you're going to really cut it short.

Pull half-way out into the oncoming traffic while flashing your lights one more time for that powerful look.

At this point, note that the oncoming traffic (now flashing their lights at you) is actually not going to stop for you. You should begrudgingly stop now. 

When done correctly, you now find yourself about 45 - 50% of the way across the intersection, blocking traffic in both directions.  Now is a good time to ignore all the people honking their horns behind you.  They will wait.  They have no choice.  Now that you have impeded traffic in both directions, everyone is slowing down.  This is important for two reasons.  It gives more time for you to show your power, and allows the oncoming drivers to see your glowering face of stone. Look like you mean business.

At this point, continue to creep forward slowly as cars squeeze by coming the other direction.  Move forward inches at a time forcing the oncoming traffic to slow an swerve around you.  Proceed forward slowly until someone gives in and cannot squeeze through.  Now sound your horn and flash your lights with vigor. You own this road by god, and you'll make them know it.

Watch out for the few motorcycles who now will squeeze through.  You don't really have to wait for them, but don't want to miss an opportunity to glare and honk.

As you complete the turn go as slowly as possible, blocking the oncoming traffic for as long as possible.  Glare at the drivers stopped to your left, reinforcing your position of power.

Look up just in time to avoid running over the pedestrians. Blast that horn again, but do not slow down for them under any circumstances.

After crossing the intersection, accelerate slowly while looking in the mirror at the pile-up of traffic you left behind.  Watch as it slowly unwinds itself and people start moving at a normal speed again.

Half-marathon: 1:58

Today was so much better than I thought it would be.  I ran my first organized half-marathon.  I had run one before as a training run last month.

We left the house at 4am, after I had all of about 5 hours of sleep. 

Drove 2 hours in the dark on crazy Indian roads to get to Srirangapatna for the Kaveri Trail Marathon.  Found the starting point with relative ease as the sun rose. The course was gorgeous, along a canal through rice paddies.  Flat, dirt, and not too rough.  Some old stone under the dirt but it was relatively smooth.

The race started more or less on time (yes, you read that right, on time in India!) at 7:10am, and I ran just the race I wanted to. Progressively faster.  1/3 slow, 1/3 medium, and then at some semblance of a race pace for the last 3rd.

The first 3k were painfully slow, picking my way through a field of runners on a narrow dirt road.  I wanted to start slowly and finish fast, but I didn't think I would start that slowly. HR 150-155

By km 5 I was back on pace, and feeling solid.  I drank at all stations, usually two cups of water, and ate a few biscuits as well.  At the turn-around point (10.5k, 61mins) I was feeling like I had something in reserve.  I saw a couple friends up ahead of me, and I decided to try to catch them.  I ran pretty strongly the entire 2nd half.  HR 165-170  The last km felt long, but I wasn't dying.  I just also couldn't sprint.

So, I am really pleased with the progress I've made.  4 months ago, I couldn't run 5 miles.  Now, I'm nearly ready for a marathon.  5 more weeks to go. 

Art in the 21st Century

“There is nothing special about David Cerny’s art, other than that he is more visible than other artists and talented at marketing. But artists like Cerny who are in headlines today will be forgotten tomorrow. His work is destined for the amusement park and won’t stand the test of time." 

-- Milan Knizak, the director of Prague’s National Gallery, as quoted in the New York Times

Funny, that's how I feel about MOST 21st century art.  Beyond the 3-second "wow" that some of it induces...it's all just marketing. 

Somehow, though I feel much differently about most modern architecture.  Even when I don't like it visually, it serves a purpose and I can relate to that.

I have been to many art exhibitions in India, and I have yet to see something that seems worthy of attention.

Tartiflette in Bangalore

It sounded like a good idea, and overall it was a lot of fun, but 24 hours later, I'm not sure it was the best thing for my body.

Last night we headed to a nearby hotel last night for a "French Cheese Club" meeting.  The food was (of course) awesome.  Greeted by a tray of yummy sangria just after going through the door and having flowers pinned on and photos taken, we were then bombarded with a non-stop offering of tiny squares of quiche, (ham, salmon, tuna, vegetable) and other lighter goodies. 

Then came the main course, tartiflette.  Not something I eat regularly, but I have had it in France during ski season. It's remarkably like my mother's "scalloped potatoes" recipe from the 1950's Bettie Crocker cookbook.  But unlike my Mom's, it's made with really nice (ahem, French) strong cheese, (Reblochon) and it's delicious.  They provided an excellent simple salad (the french do this right...) and bread accompaniments.

With unlimited wine.

Let me say that again. 

Unlimited wine. 

In India. 

(And it wasn't some sour Sula stuff either.  The white wasn't bad.)

So, after one large plate of yummy food and about 4 glasses of wine, it didn't take much to convince me of another plate of the potatoes-and-cheese heart-stopper.

Which then made a couple more glasses of wine obligatory. 

Which then gave me no chance at all of making a 7am bike ride.  And no chance at all of feeling healthy this Sunday.

Today I'm paying penance for unlimited wine, cheese, and potatoes.  Worth it?  Probably.

9.6 miles, 87 mins.

That route plus two more laps of the neighborhood a one-mile each.

When I arrived home, my wife said "I predict a nap on the couch this afternoon". I think she's right.


Update!

It's now 4pm. I just woke up from a 2 hour CRAAAAAASH. Holy smokes. I never nap. I never catch a little catnap in the afternoon. Instead, I completely crash, like a lemming over a cliff. Drool. Boogers in my puffy non-focusing eyes. Wow. I feel like a train just ran over me.

Kaveri River (Half) Marathon

I'm planning on running this as a training event for the Amsterdam Marathon.



Choose Satellite View to see the actual route (Or bring it up in Google Earth under the "Route" menu).

Amsterdam Marathon

Somehow I've signed myself up for this. I'm training for it, but it's not going to be easy for me to finish 26 miles running. A friend sent me this video which I find pretty motivational; Amsterdam can be such a beautiful place (at 7am after the streets are cleaned by a Spring rain like in the movie).

The Flow

Good Morning Captain

what memories this brings back.

The 60s and 70s were a bizarre time. Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers.

I'm a product of that time, no doubt.

Courtesy of Kung Fu Grippe

Feelies - Outdoor Miner

Outdoor Miner - The Feelies - 7/4/2008 in Battery Park New York

For some reason I'm feeling homesick for the US lately, especially the music scene. It's just non-existent in India.

I've been watching a ton of old Feelies, Yo La Tengo and similar videos on YouTube.

Another one. This one takes me back to 1985-1988 when I was going to shows just like this at least once a week. Just watching the audience dance makes me smile.

Helping Hands Orphanage, Bangalore, India

Helping Hands Orphanage

I went to this orphanage with a friend and my daughter this Saturday.

It was stunning. 52 beautiful, happy healthy children living in a house about the same size as ours. 20 children to a bedroom. 17 girls, and the rest boys. No real beds, just floor covers that the spread out. It must be a scene at bedtime...

The vibe was energetic, and the kids were really well-behaved. The owners were really putting themselves out for these kids.

My daughter raised some money with her birthday last year, and we gave 1/2 the money to this orphanage. We'll probably give more in Feb when we're back and can spend more time there.

If you're looking for a place to send some cash, these folks will make sure it goes to good use.

Bengaluru International Airport Sucks

Bengaluru International Airport

I'm sitting on the floor at the ONLY working power plug in this whole damn place.

There is one pole in the middle with 6 power plugs, all of which are broken. When I asked why, the guy tells me "they were turned off because people were using them."

But I found an ATM in the corner (out of order of course) that had working power. It's probably out of order because everyone unplugs it to use it.

There is a guy manning the Airtel booth next to me whose feet smell so foul I thought the bathroom had overflowed.

The "security" here is pathetic. They have this ridiculous outpost as you drive in, complete with men in black bandannas holding antique rifles behind a sandbag bunker. I swear it looks like a scene from a cheap kung-fu movie. A really cheap one.

Once inside, you are offered the privilege of paying 150 rupees for a breakfast that would cost you 30 outside the airport.

September 09. It can't come fast enough.

t r u t h o u t | India's War on False Antiterrorism

t r u t h o u t | India's War on False Antiterrorism

Why is it that writing in India is so poor?

I mean, just read the first few paragraphs of this rant and tell me what the guy is trying to say.

The entire Times of India is full of this writing. I had to cancel my subscription because it was just making me angry to have to read it every day.

Chicken Gift

 

Riding through the village, my daughter saw some chicks cross the road and pointed and screamed.

Stopping to look at the baby chickens and their parents, the owner of the house came out and offered us this juvenile chicken to take home. Pet? Dinner? I wasn't sure, but I was sure our neighbors wouldn't approve of the squawking.

Gateway Drug

The Gateway Drug




$30 plus shipping is a little rich for my blood especially since I have a lifetimes supply of t-shirts already.

But it does make a lot of sense... Certainly how I feel about giving my kids a bicycle... ;-)

But no, I'm not giving them titanium tricycles. Just cheapo Indian-made MTBs that last just long enough for them to grow out of them.

The Tricycle aimed at Wall Streeters

Lynskey Performance - Tricycle

This just in... An $800 dollar tricycle for kids who really need a titanium ride. (double butted no less)

The market for this probably just disappeared with the 4 trillion dollars wiped out of the market last week.

But you know someone is going to skim enough off the top of the 700 Billion bailout to gift their little ones with the best trike that other people's money can buy.

Me? I'm kinda disappointed in the components. I mean what's the point of titanium if you can't also put some carbon rims on it?

New Tranny in the old steed

Together with my two mechanics-in-training (aka kids) I replaced the rear cassette, the front chainrings, and the chain today on my old mountain bike. While I was in there, I gave it some new rubber (Dart and Mythos XC), greased up the WTB front hub, and gave the bike a decent cleaning.

The drivetrain had the original parts from when I first built the bike. The chain had been replaced once or twice, but the rest (rings and cassette) is original. They have 18 years of abuse in them. Mountain biking in Austin mud, Colorado grit, and Moab dust. A fully-loaded tour from Seattle to Guadalajara down the west coast. Rusty rain in Amsterdam. Beach riding in Zandvoort. Poor cogs.

While dismantling the poor abused chap, I realized just how much paint I have removed in the past 18 years. (Yes, this poor beast is now that old.) It could really use a new paint job. But putting real money into it for that right now just isn't going to happen. I suppose I could find a painter here to do it, but the quality is pretty bad here. I had some motorcycles painted here in Bangalore and was pretty miffed with the result.

I'm pretty psyched to get it back on the road, but unfortunately the old Rock Shox Mag 21 gave up the ghost last month. I have a new fork here but no star-fangled nut for the headset. I have a new Mag 21 that I picked up from flea-bay, but it's in California, not here, since the shipping was one day too slow last time I was there. So until I either make another trip to the US or find a nut here in Bangalore, I get to just look at the bike with all it's shiny new parts on it.

Sure looks purty.